


keep getting underneath you

by Nyxierose



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Ficlet Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-26 09:13:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6232963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxierose/pseuds/Nyxierose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of unrelated prompt fills and other short ficlets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. rough kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Since I'm terrible at remembering to crosspost from my tumblr ([@electricbluebutterflies](http://electricbluebutterflies.tumblr.com)), figured a ficlet collection makes sense. Each of these is its own standalone beastie unless otherwise noted. Title is from "The Good The Bad & The Dirty" by Panic! At The Disco because... reasons. Enjoy!!

She just wants to feel something that isn’t pain.

Raven’s a lot of things, and she’s well aware of her flaws, but she’s not reckless. She rarely if ever does things just because she _can_. But lately… lately she’s wondering how much time she’s even got left, and that sort of thought process can change things in a girl.

How that leads to looping her arms around the neck of a Grounder king, pushing him against a wall, and kissing him like fire… she’s not entirely sure, but it happens.

Dry spells are the worst, okay? She’s on the tail end of a six-month one because she’s apparently too broken or something, and besides that she’s realized that her taste in men is questionable at best. This one, this one she at least _knows_  is a bad idea. But he’s hot, and he’s here, and he sorta rescued her last week, and he’s been eye-fucking her on a near-constant basis since said rescue, and she doesn’t _care_.

He kisses her back, tangles his hands in her hair and nips at her bottom lip and shamelessly grinds against her. She’s almost surprised, though she knows she shouldn’t be. This, borderline hate-sex in a converted storage room in unfamiliar territory, she can totally do. It’s the potential aftermath that scares her.

“You’re a hell of a woman,” he breathes, dark want in his voice and his pretty eyes.

She should kill this right now, a rational part of her brain reminds her. Whether or not Roan qualifies as the enemy is currently a mystery, but on the one hand he does come from a (presumably) long line of murderous assholes.

On the other, though, he got her out of a bad situation. Found her half-dead in the wild and, instead of putting her out of her misery, decided to take her home and keep her safe. Most people wouldn’t do that for a random, attraction be damned.

And okay, fine, he’s hot and she’s shallow sometimes and that doesn’t exactly _hurt_  right now. What the hell does she even have left to lose?

“You want me,” she breathes, not a question but the only thing she knows is true right now.

“Completely.”

Screw formalities, she decides, reaching for his jacket and pushing it off his shoulders. (There is definitely something about the air here on Earth that makes people automatically hotter, she’s starting to think.) From there, clothes start flying and it’s a blur until the issue of her brace suddenly _becomes_  an issue.

“I’m gonna have to lie down once this is off,” she points out. Not that it’s a huge issue - this space is currently her bedroom, regardless of whatever other purpose it’s supposed to serve, and there _is_  a convenient mattress a couple feet away - but still.

“So thus ends the aggression?” he smirks.

“Nope. You trying to fuck me into the mattress isn’t going to stop me from doing what I can…”

“Good,” he replies, hands covering hers as she removes her stability. “I like your fire.”

He helps lower her down like a fucking gentleman - which he _is_ , she realizes, and that’s a whole mess of feelings that can wait until after this encounter - and helps remove her jeans and underwear before gently exploring her core with his fingers. It’s obvious he sees the scar on her hip, but he pays it no attention. Makes sense considering the part of her that he’s _really_  interested in is six inches away, but-

“Are you sure about this, Raven?”

It’s an unexpected statement, and she looks him straight in the eyes with as much determination as she can manage.

“Last guy I fucked stopped talking to me a week later ‘cause I do emotions differently than he did. One before that got envy confused with lust. One before that… I don’t wanna talk about it, but it ended badly.” She takes a deep breath, steadying herself. “You probably can’t be worse than they were, and you’re definitely nicer to look at. So yeah, I’m sure.”

Roan thrusts into her, one hand helping him balance and the other circling her clit, and she’s not sure what she was expecting but this is better. Good enough she’d fuck him again, and she decides that _before_  she blisses out. Maybe not the best orgasm of her life, but the best she’s had with a partner so far and she could get used to this.

She’s stuck up here, at least for a while. Might as well have a little fun while in hell.

He finishes inside her, collapsing on his side once the rush has worked through his body, doesn’t even try to touch her and she’s not sure how that’s points in his favor but it definitely is.

“Long time for you too?” she can’t help but ask.

“Something like that.”

“Thank you,” she breathes. “For… for saving my ass, for bringing me _here_ , for…”

“Any honorable person would’ve done the same.”

“Guess I haven’t known a lot of those, then.”

“Perhaps.” He leans over, kisses the tip of her nose and then gets to his feet. “Goodnight Raven.”

“You’re not gonna stay?” she asks, realizing she actually wants him to (and _awesome_ , that’s now _two_  issues to deal with in the morning).

“It would be forward if I asked.”

“Well then, good thing you’re not the one asking.” She pats the empty space on the mattress with one hand, beckoning him closer with the other. “You’re warm, and either you curl up with me or you sort out this terrible blanket situation for me. Some of us aren’t used to your shitty climate.”

“Would you accept both?” he asks, lying beside her again and cautiously wrapping his body around her.

“How the fuck is that even a question? Course I would. But if you’re here… blankets can wait until morning, ‘kay?”

She could definitely get used to this…


	2. eyelid kiss

The list of things that make Raven angry is traditionally a long one, but the current one is that she can’t _fight_.

She’s great at creating weapons of war, sure. She likes explosives and she’s smart enough to figure out how to make them out of just about _anything_ , which has been a great asset the last few months. AIs are obviously hard to destroy, but it’s surprisingly easy to locate central points of the system and send her team out to get rid of ‘em. Meanwhile, she herself stays nice and safe, and damned if she isn’t okay with that sometimes.

Not this time, though. Not when there’s a whole goddamn army of controlled humans out there and her sorta-boyfriend is about to become part of the counterattack.

(Okay, fine, functionally _running_  the counterattack. Technicalities, whatever.)

“Stay safe,” he tells her, last few moments before he has to leave.

She wants to be sarcastic. She’s damn good at sarcastic, and supposedly that’s the trait of hers that caught Roan’s attention in the first place. (That and her inclination towards wandering around indoors in nothing but leggings and a sports bra. Not her fault they decided to put her work area somewhere warm!) But right now, right now she’s twenty years old but feels so much younger and the people she gets attached to have a nasty habit of dying _terribly_  and she’s not sure she can deal with that happening again. Right now, she’s pretty sure she wants to cry.

Fuck it, she _is_  crying. There’s a viable chance she’s a couple of days from losing the one person who genuinely _sees_  her, and she’s not ready for that pain.

“Hey,” he murmurs, gently taking her hands. “I will do everything I can to survive and come back to you. I-”

“Don’t say you love me,” she growls, anger tainting her fear. “You say that, you’re doomed.”

“Good thing I wasn’t planning on it.” He presses his lips to each of her eyelids in turn, tasting the salt of her tears. “Not until my return.”

“Pretty optimistic for a man who’s bringing a stick to a gunfight,” she mutters, almost laughing despite everything.

“You and I are the same, Raven. We survive, we lick our wounds, and then we rain hell on the bastards who ever dared to hurt us.” His lips brush across hers for a heartbeat, a promise. “I _will_  come back to you.”

* * *

Two months later, he does - a little worse for wear, bearing new scars, but alive. His searching eyes find her in the middle of a crowd and he runs to her, wrapping his arms around her but not daring to do more.

“You came back,” she breathes, and it’d be great if she could be in the same space as him without crying but apparently that’s gonna take a while.

“I made a promise,” he replies, kissing her forehead. “I may be a man of many faults, but my loyalty is not among them.”

She buries her face in the curve of his neck, heart beating normally for the first time in too long. “You can say you love me now.”

He does.


	3. hot, steamy kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Indefinite postapoc AU. Could actually be a teaser for something bigger if you guys like it enough?? Idk, this one was FUN.

She kisses him for a lot of reasons.

She kisses him because she’s pretty well convinced they’re both gonna die soon and she wants a little attention before that happens, one last taste of another human being before it all ends.

She kisses him because he’s convenient and hasn’t tried to kill her _yet_ , which is pretty impressive given the week she’s just had.

She kisses him because he’s pretty in the dangerous way, the way she always goes for that always hurts her in the end. (Not a definable way - always looks different on a person, but the ending’s the same no matter what their face looks like. If she wants to climb them, it’ll end badly _somehow_.)

She kisses him because adrenaline is a beautiful beautiful thing and she’ll blame that in the morning, she’ll blame that when this comes back to bite her.

But mostly, she kisses him because she _can_ , because maybe this will be the last truly voluntary thing she ever does and she wants that act to be something worth dying for.

He kisses back like controlled fire, sucks at her lip but doesn’t bite, explores her mouth with his tongue but doesn’t force. Strange gentleness from someone like him, whatever the fuck _that_  even means, and she wishes there was more time, wishes she could let herself know details. As it stands, she doesn’t even know his name and doesn’t mean to change that.

“Wanted that,” Raven murmurs when she has to breathe. She can justify the hell out of anything, and this is far from the most regrettable moment of her life.

“What now?”

She doesn’t say anything, just pulls her shirt over her head and hopes that makes it obvious enough. “Nothing to lose,” she shrugs. “And if I’m wrong about that… I’m clean, I think…”

The rest of their clothing flies. She lays down on a pile of blankets and drags him down with her, pushes him onto his back, practically tackles him. This is _her_  distraction, and there’s little effort from him to take control and it’s the first thing he’s done in the last forty-eight hours that actually makes her _like_  him instead of just tolerate him. Wandering hands are one thing, an appreciated thing, but he doesn’t do much more than growl as she grinds against his stomach and buck his hips as she finally finally sinks down onto him and why oh why did it take the end of the goddamn world for her to find someone who can take a hint?!

She puts one hand between them to bring herself closer, the other on the ground for balance, and lets it happen. Slow, building, his hands on her hips but helping instead of forcing, close close _cross_.

Not the best fuck she’s ever had, but not a bad one either.

After, hands still on her, few more shifts of her hips and he finishes within her as he rises to kiss her and muffle the sound. Position shift as they fall apart, her on her back, eyes closed and conflicted.

“Nothing to lose,” she says again. She’s not sure if she completely believes that anymore.


	4. a reunion kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the shortest thing I've ever actually posted?? Whatev, it's cute.

The moment he’s in view, she starts running. In general, Raven does _not_  run and it’s a damn hard thing to do with a bad leg and a floor-length skirt, but some things are worth breaking personal rules for. Things like boyfriends who have been gone for too long on unexplained trips to the actual middle of nowhere, for example.

He moves as well and they meet in the middle, crashing into each other and just lingering in each other’s arms for a few heartbeats before he tilts his head and gently presses his lips to hers. It’s sweet, or at least as sweet as they ever get, delicate and innocent and lasting until they both remember to breathe.

“Missed you,” she murmurs, again almost sweet.

“No problems while I was gone?”

“You worry too much. Other than how cold my bed was… quietest month I’ve had up here.”

She kisses him again, tangling her fingers in his hair, and decides to save her own questions for later.


	5. glance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OH LOOKIT THEY SORTA INTERACT IN CANON (finally) AND I HAVE FEELINGS.

Things Raven Reyes didn’t know she was into - people who somehow look hot even though they’re tied up.

Her sexuality is… well, if she wants to fuck someone then that’s generally a sign they’re a bad person, and bonus points if she doesn’t actually _know_  them, and… really it’s not a good sign that the first thing she thinks when she sees this whatever-he-is is “I wanna climb that”. There is no way this thought pattern here is a good idea, she is well aware of that, but _damn_  is he pretty and she can’t quite look away.

Her second thought is “would probably look even hotter if not bleeding”.

Her third is “wonder if I can get my hands on this one because they don’t know what to do with _him_  either and I need to spend more time around people and I could totally make this sound innocent”.

(She knows better than to say that one, at least.)

Weird thing is she’s pretty sure this possible connection thing is mutual. He looked at her, at least. Seemed like more attention than he wanted to give anyone else. That’s a start, right?

Ah well. No time to think about her tragic dry spell when there’s an evil AI to shut down.

But there could be life after that, Raven thinks. After all of this bullshit is over with, she could try to take her life back. She could walk right up to that whatever-he-is and try to figure him out, push and see if her odds are as good as she thinks they are. If she gets turned down, whatever, she’ll live. If he’s having the same beautiful thoughts as she is, then she’s definitely game and she’s pretty sure she’s run out of mistakes and maybe, maybe this one could be different for her.

She’ll find out later.

Right now, she smirks as soon as she knows she’s out of sight and she starts to daydream…


	6. breathe again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt - "Lalochezia - The use of abusive language to relieve stress or ease pain".
> 
> Usual vaguely-canon-divergent 'verse.

Hell hath no fury like Raven when she’s pissed off. This has been an established fact for _years_ , and it’s on full display now, a wide array of swear words in three and a half different languages directed at anything that moves and several things that don’t but are _supposed to_  and-

“Fuck. Fuck you, fuck that, fuck everything.”

It only gets more colorful from there.

Half the problem is she’s not sure what went wrong with this project - never a good sign, especially when her resources are limited and right now they fuckin’ are - and she’s not even sure where to begin. She hasn’t slept in two days, maybe more like three but damned if she even _knows_  at this point. She’s functioning on what some asshole _swears_  is coffee, but she’s got her doubts and she’s been adding mystery alcohol to it because she doesn’t wanna die. Also because it numbs her leg a bit, which is really good because she’s pretty sure she needs to rework her brace and she doesn’t even have _time_  for something so frivolous and...

Frankly, Raven is a mess and Raven is in the midst of a breakdown she’s only halfway aware she’s even having and therefore it is the _perfect_  time for the universe to send her a goddamn curveball.

Most people have the sense to knock, at least. Most people have the sense to figure out that closed workshop door means stay away. Unfortunately, common sense isn’t as common as it ought to be, and just as Raven begins to figure out a _possible_  cause of failure, the door crashes open.

“Whatever the fuck you want, either somebody better be dead or you’re about to be,” she growls, reaching for the weapon she keeps in front of her in case of emergency. It’s basically a Taser, and might’ve been one at some point, except altered and made so much more effective. (It’s probably the closest thing Raven is ever going to have to a child unless she can talk Lincoln into helping her domesticate a wildcat, which she is seriously tempted to do for _reasons_ and-)

“I was sent to make sure you were still alive,” drawls an unfamiliar voice.

“Welp, you got what you wanted, now get the hell out of my space before I fry your questionably existent brain.”

Instead of running like anyone in their right mind would do, the dingbat moves closer. From the sound of their movements, Raven’s betting on male, few years older than her, and a trained warrior. Great, the holy fucking trinity of about to ruin her life even further.

“What part of fuck off are you not understanding?” she hisses, reaching for her weapon before spinning around on her chair to discover what exactly she’s dealing with.

“The part where no one’s seen you in four days and apparently they’re _worried_  and I’m somehow the only person expendable enough to track you down.”

“They know where to fuckin’ find me,” Raven shrugs. Against her better judgment, she’s almost starting to like this guy. He’s hot and he’s not scared of her, and usually those are her only requirements and-

“Yet somehow none of them actually want to.”

“Yeah, well, _they_ can try unfucking a remote fuse system and see how far _they_  get. Three days and it just won’t _work_  and-”

Fuck, she’s gonna cry.

As the first teardrops fall down her face, mixing terribly with grease and dirt and god-knows-what, the man moves forward, close enough to touch her but _doesn’t_ , and leans down to make perfect eye contact with her. “They talk about you like you’re some sort of god, but you’re really not. You’re human, same as anyone.”

“That’s like half the problem here.”

“And half your strength.”

“Why the fuck do you even care?”

“Because no one bothered to tell me that the woman who always saves the world is also beautiful,” he murmurs, reaching out and cupping her face with his callused hand. “And because you’re no use to anyone like this.”

“I need to finish it,” she hisses, half-hearted.

“You need to go somewhere that isn’t here and rest. Might make more sense if you’re more lucid.”

Though still overwhelmed, Raven smiles. “Who did you even piss off to get stuck dealing with me when I’m like this?”

“I’m half a step above a political prisoner,” the man replies. “Being unsupervised is a gift right now.”

“And yet you’re not trying to take advantage of me.”

“I was asked to do a task. I see no reason not to follow through.”

“So what’s the end goal?”

“Get you on a mattress somewhere and out of here for at least twelve hours.”

Raven rolls her eyes. “Please tell me you aren’t propositioning me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, but my space is likely better than whatever hole they keep you in.”

Ah, what the hell. “Lead the way. Oh, and if I get clingy... bad leg. Nothing personal.”

Not yet, anyways.


	7. view's nice up here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt - "put me down, now!"

Raven has never been this tired in her life, and yes that includes the time she was awake for four days straight on a project. She had stimulants then, thank you very much, and her range of necessary motion was very limited. Today, on the other hand... today she has been walking for an unholy amount of time, and even though her leg’s being fairly cooperative it still _hurts_ , and yet that doesn’t even register with her because she is so. damn. tired.

Like, she’s about to collapse and gives zero fucks what anyone else thinks about that inevitability. _That_  kind of tired.

Unfortunately, before she can make herself trip on a decently sized rock or come up with another excuse to take a goddamn break, someone else notices she’s falling apart. And, because this day is apparently designed to screw with her as much as possible, it’s the exact someone she hoped _wouldn’t_.

Raven has a lot of feelings about Roan, okay? A _lot_  of feelings, because various people have been pawning him off on her since this whole exodus thing kicked off and somehow he’s not smart enough to ignore them, but most of those feelings fall into two categories - “I want to climb him” and “I want to strangle him”. Today’s a pretty solid Type Two, with the added bonus of undeniable confirmation that Grounders don’t understand certain obscene hand gestures (or maybe Raven’s are just really creative, she’s not sure). Far as she’s concerned, she’s gonna enjoy the view if he falls off a cliff or something, but she wouldn’t exactly miss him or anything and-

She stops for a second, a single freaking second, and next thing she knows she’s airborne. What the actual fuck.

“Put me down,” she growls. Her mouth is about six inches from Roan’s ear, it’s pretty quiet in this patch of woods, and he’d better hear her _or else_. “NOW.”

Naturally, he takes the opportunity to ignore her and instead positions her into a near-perfect fireman’s carry. Under any other circumstances, he’d get real points for being a gentleman, but right now...

Screw it, Raven is tired and in pain and _bored_. Bad combo.

After her second attempt at verbally getting his attention fails, she decides other measures are necessary. Other measures, in this case, meaning using her good leg to kick him in the shin with every bit of force her hundred-and-ten-pound body is capable of.

And honestly, from the noise he makes, she’s almost worried she aimed a little higher. Considering he hasn’t dropped her, though... dammit, not that lucky.

“Is something wrong?” Roan asks moments later, as if this isn’t his own fault or anything.

“You could’ve asked me before you decided to fucking _carry_  me,” she counters. “Or at least given me some sort of warning or something like a normal person.”

“You would’ve said no.”

“I still _can_  walk, asshole. I’m not _that_  much of a liability.”

From her current angle, his facial expression looks offended and it’s the funniest thing she’s seen in a long while. “I attempted to help you because you looked dead on your feet, not because of-”

“Still, fair warning next time?”

He nods, and she figures that’s enough. “Would you like me to set you down?”

“Nah. If you don’t mind carrying me... view’s nice up here.”


	8. live with this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven in hibernation.

It's freezing cold outside, the kind of weather that makes Raven wonder why humans ever decided to live this far north, but she's nice and safe and warm. Buried under blankets, curled up in bed, nothing she absolutely _has_ to do today and no one out there who can make her leave this room. Winter is hell on her fragile body, but oh the wonders it still brings.

Technically, it's her second winter on Earth, but she's not sure how much last year counts for. Last year, she was far south of here, too much going on around her for her to notice any changes in the weather. Last year, she was too busy trying to prove that her physical weakness didn't make her any less useful. Last year… she remembers it all with a shudder, how damningly convinced she was of herself. All the whispers she heard, not to mention things said directly to her face. She'd _had_ to be bulletproof back then - survival required nothing less.

A lesser person would've broken down immediately. Raven, somehow, lasted slightly over six months.

She remembers that day in vivid detail - it was, after all, the same day that laid the first steps towards where she is right now. It was spring then, raining, and her beloved squad of misfit disasters were a week from saving the world. Nobody knew that at the time, of course, and Raven was having a day. Nothing wanted to work, no matter how hard she tried, and then her wrench skittered onto the floor and under a cabinet and there was no way in hell she'd get down there and get back up again without rendering herself useless for at _least_ the rest of the day and-

Raven doesn't believe in any kind of a higher power, probably never will, but _something_ supernatural definitely pushed Roan her way that day. He appeared at exactly the moment she needed him - she's pretty sure he was glowing, but that might've been because she was on the edge of crying - and asked, all innocent and unimposing, if he could help her with anything. She'd pointed towards the cabinet and nodded, not really feeling up to talking, and he took a hint and retrieved the wrench for her. And then he stayed.

 _Another_ six months later, she's happily nested in his bed and there is no need for a false front anymore.

She's safe here, she reminds herself as she shifts her position to take a little more weight off of her bad leg. She's protected and free, a perfect balance, and there's a beautiful future ahead of her if she lets it happen.

After a little while, Raven falls back asleep, and another while later she wakes again to a comforting weight beside her and a gentle hand pushing stray hair out of her eyes.

"Feeling better?" her lover asks, slight edge of worry in his voice.

"Not really?" she mutters. "Everything hurts."

She likes a lot of things about Roan. She likes the solidness of his body - king or not, he's a warrior at heart and his discipline shows in everything. She likes the way he supports her, asking permission at every turn, genuinely valuing her independence above his instincts. She likes the spark in his cold blue eyes whenever they're alone. And right now, she likes the way he pulls her close and halfway on top of him, shifting both of their bodies so her head rests over his heart.

"Anything you want me to do?" he asks, leaning down and kissing the top of her head.

"Just stay with me for a bit? I know _you've_ got things to do but-"

"I'm yours for the rest of the day. Everything that can become someone else's problem… has."

"You don't have to completely rearrange your life because you're tangled up with a girl who-"

He puts two fingers to her lips. "Not much happens up here during this time of year anyways, Raven. It'll make more sense next year, when you're used to it."

"Who says I'll even be here next year?" she laughs.

"I think you might've?"

She rolls her eyes. "I could change my mind. Anything's possible."

"Valid, but-"

"But I don't plan to."

"Good. I like you here."

She doesn't have anything to say to that, so she just burrows closer against him and lets her eyes close again. If this is how hibernation is going to work for her, she's pretty sure she can live with it.

Yeah, she thinks as his arm loops around her waist and there is no sound in the room apart from their breathing, she can live with all of this.


	9. happy crying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt - "you're not gonna cry, are you?"

Raven is about 96% sure she’s never seen anyone this happy. The fact that said happiness is because of something she just did - something pretty badass that she’s not actually _sure_  how she did, and computers aren’t even her strongest suit but apparently this tech wasn’t as complex as it should’ve been and it only took her like three days of no sleep to _save the entire goddamn planet thank you very much_  - is a lesser concern here. The relevant detail is that Roan, standing a couple feet behind her ‘cause he got the short straw of “babysit our resident genius and make sure she eats something every couple hours ‘cause she _won’t_ if you don’t gently remind her”, looks completely overwhelmed and _god_  Raven should not be this turned on by it.

Not that she’ll do anything about it, mind. Not for a while, not until after she’s back to wherever they’ve got her sleeping right now and she’s crashed for a very long time. Maybe after that, she’ll pull out one of her favorite inventions and work through this frustration as efficiently as she does everything else. That’s a few days down the line, though.

Right now, she’s just watching, trying to figure this beautiful man out.

He looks, well… Raven’s not the best with words, but she’s pretty sure…

“You’re not gonna cry, are you?” she asks playfully.

Roan shakes his head. “I’m not sure what you did, but…”

“No one ever is,” she shrugs. “I just saved all our asses. Details are irrelevant.”

Without any real warning, he steps forward and twirls her around and pulls her into a hug.

Normally, this would piss her off. Normally, she’d growl a few things about exactly how many things in this room she could use to harm another living being. Normally, any sweetness in her would evaporate and be replaced by cold fury until she got what she wanted.

But right now… right now this is kinda nice.

“I won’t tell anyone you almost cried,” she murmurs. “ _If_  you help me rig a saddle and teach me to ride a horse. Deal?”

“Deal.”


	10. if you're willing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt - “I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

As far as Raven’s concerned, her trust issues are completely justifiable. She _knows_  her taste in men is historically godawful, knows damned well that all bets of sanity are off once clothes start flying, and she didn’t expect any different from this one. Different culture, different status and perspective, but still the same breed she’s always liked more than she should.

But the strange thing about Roan, the thing she doesn’t adequately plan for when she agrees to this unclear mission into the frozen wastes of northern Azgeda territory, is that he still sees her the same once he’s fucked her. Worse, he seems to be developing _feelings_.

That, really, is the part that bugs Raven out. Not the heavy implications that she’d make a good treaty queen, not the fact that he’s unexpectedly mindful of her physical limitations, not any of the dozens of other details that could each on their own be too much, but the fact that he tells her he loves her and then tackles a goddamn mutant wolf. Welp, at least he’s got the self-preservation skills (or lack thereof) usually apparent in people she fucks.

At lest he didn’t say it after sex, she tells herself. At least he didn’t go for _that_  cliché, although she wouldn’t put it past him in the future. Oh no, the man’s supposedly in charge of an entire civilization and thought _that_  was more appropriate than a watch-this. She lets this go anywhere, she’ll be widowed by twenty-five, she’s goddamn sure of it, and the worst part is she’s pretty sure it’d be worth the pain.

Still, Raven’s lost enough to know better, and so she handles the situation the only way she can while preserving the atmosphere - she ices him out.

She’s affectionate enough when he touches her. One of the first things she liked about Roan is he knows what he wants, and the sex is good enough to be worth it. She just doesn’t engage emotionally, doesn’t talk beyond formalities and permissions, retreats into herself in a way she figures he won’t notice.

Wrong. So wrong.

“What did I do?” he asks in their aftermath. It’s been a couple weeks since the incident; they’re lying on what passes for his bed, still naked, exhausted.

“I don’t do feelings,” she mutters. “Or bullshit. So if you can stop with both, that’d be great.”

“What is this.... oh.” His eyes grow wide as he processes exactly what he did to earn her fury. “Oh. Raven, I... I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you. Bad timing, yes, but-”

“I’ve heard that before. Three little words people say when they want more control over you. I’m not that girl anymore.”

“Control?” he repeats, almost shocked. “That’s not what I intended at all.  I just... I thought we were at a point where it made sense for you to know how I feel.”

“I’m not that girl,” she repeats, reaching down and strapping her brace around her thigh. “I’m never gonna be that girl.”

She dresses quickly,tries not to think about how well thick woolen skirts hide her weaknesses, and walks out into the open air. It’s cold even compared to how this place normally is, and she thinks she can feel imminent snow in the air. Good. That’ll make her that much harder to follow if she decides to run, and she’s thinking about it, and-

“Raven.”

His voice sounds wounded. That’s what makes her turn around. His voice sounds wounded, like each word makes him bleed, and she whirls around and stares at him and her coldness melts a little. He’s at least manaed to pull on pants, thank goodness, but he’s shirtless and shivering and apparently just that determined to give her reasons to stay.

“Not that girl,” she says one more time, just in case he didn’t hear her.

“I expect nothing. The door will always be unlocked. I’m deeply sorry if it sounded otherwise.”

She crosses the distance, loops her arms around his neck, and kisses him like she’s memorizing the taste of him. “No promises,” she breathes against his skin. “I don’t fall that easy.”

“I’m willing to wait if you’re willing to stay. Your call.”

“Deal.”


End file.
